Strutting your Fluff - a very pubic matter.

I don’t know whether you’ve noticed, but pubic hair - especially female pubic hair - is big news these days. No longer a private part of one’s anatomy, the pubes have become part of the fashion ensemble of the great, the good and the glitterati. It is openly discussed in a way that would have been unthinkable even five years ago. It is expensively styled, used as a fashion, advertising and political statement, and is the centre of a growing, million dollar industry.

As a nudist gal, I’d never given it much thought. It was something we all had, to a greater or lesser degree, and which, like the rest of one’s body, needed to be kept clean, sleek and well groomed.

I was of course aware that some of my friends and acquaintances on the nudist circuit favoured the “smooth” look, whilst others opted for what we used to call “The Clarkie”, after the slim, trimmed moustache sported by Clark Gable. We even have one friend who chooses to dye hers various colours, one month black, another blonde, the next auburn, and so on.

But whilst I’m used to having hair ripped from along my bikini line for those occasions when I’m unable to use a nudist beach, the thought of grooming and styling my pubic hair into a fashion accessory just never occurred to me.

Which apparently makes me hopelessly unfashionable. Because according to “Hot Pink - The Girl’s Guide to Primping, Passion and Pubic Fashion”, these days it’s chic to strut your fluff.

Apparently the latest pubic fashion is the “Beckham”, from Japan, where young women trim and style their pubic hair after the hairstyle worn by David Beckham, soccer superstar turned A list celeb. Just in case you’re not familiar with this sporting icon, Beckham used to tease his blonde locks into a sort of crest over the top of his head, like a fish’s dorsal fin. Although he has changed his look many times since, the dorsal fin style is the pubic cut of choice in Japan. I don’t think I’ll try this one personally. The crest can only be kept in place by copious amounts of hair gel, which is very sticky. and the thought of pulling out most of my pubes every time I take off my undies does not appeal.

Last year’s craze was the ‘Brazilian’, because the ladies of Copacabana Beach like to wear such miniscule thongs that they remove all of their pubic hair except a small rectangle. This is the style apparently endorsed by celebrities such as Gwynneth Paltrow, Sex and the City’s Carrie Bradshaw, singer Jennifer Lopez and ex Spice Girl Victoria Beckham amongst others, although I wonder whether Victoria now sports a “Beckham” in support of husband David. The poor girl certainly looks in pain.

It is a little ironic that the growth of the pubic hair (no pun intended) cult should have been driven by non - nudists. In a textile environment, the opportunities for showing off your tuft, no matter how artistically decorated, have to be very limited.

In the nudist world, on the other hand, we are up against no such limitations. Given that opportunities for most normal fashion accessories disappear with our clothes, maybe this could become the next BIG THING in the nudist world . Perhaps we can look forward to seeing fancy shapes, rainbow colours, glitter or stick-on tattoos enlivening our nudist camps and resorts. Move over body painting, lets have an annual “Ms Strut Your Fluff” competition with the first prize of a thousand pound pubic makeover. Just remember that you heard it hear first.

As for me? Well, having waited so long for the damn fluff to arrive in the first place, I can’t bring myself to go totally smooth. But maybe I could try a little something fancy for my nudist club’s Valentines Day party. Perhaps a little heart shaped number?

Now, where’s my Body Bare Shaver and cream?